The Vicious Cycle of Depression

I was an Economics student in my High School Days. And during those classes, under the excellent Mr. Dhirendra Harbola, I learnt an important concept that stuck in my mind – poverty is a Vicious Cycle that stays for generations. Poor daily wage laborers think that investing in their children’s education is a waste of time and money and their children should be daily wage laborers just like them – and their children, thus,  end up staying poor. I have observed this kind of a cycle in many more areas other than just economics.
But I never thought I will see it in my own life and that it will affect me in such a profound way.
Now that I think about it, I think I have been suffering from depression since the past couple of years – albeit in a less serious manner than currently. One of the effects of depression is irregular sleep. And since the last couple of years, I have been sleeping a lot. I have the unfortunate ability to sleep anytime I want. I always felt guilty about it,but I never thought too much of it. (And this is not why I think I had depression since the last couple of years – there are many other reasons beside this).
Here is where the vicious cycle starts. I always felt depressed because I was never able to achieve the goals I set. And guess what I did when I was depressed? I slept. A lot. And that is why I could not achieve my goals. And then I felt shitty. And then to counter that, I slept again. And this repeated itself.
For the last 4 years.
I still feel extreme urge to sleep when I feel depressed. But I have got to tackle it. For the simple reason that my body does not really need so much sleep. But it is just mental.
I have got to tackle it. No matter what.


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